Not what you think it does.

I’ve never been a morning person. Put me in a position where I have to interact with other people before 12 pm and I’ll be dysregulated all day and probably a few days after. Yes, that may be the autism, but please feel free to tell me you’re the same so I don’t feel alone. This post has turned into a pure stream of consciousness, so enjoy the chaos ensuing in 3, 2, 1… 

What does it mean to be a morning person?

Well, if we believe capitalism, being a morning person means to wake up joyfully, jump out of bed, get ready for the day, maybe even get a workout in and then happily hop to the office job. You’re welcome for the image. Here’s the dictionary definition:

A person who wakes up without difficulty early each morning and who is alert and active during the first part of the day.

It doesn’t really say anything about other people now, does it? So WHY THE HELL are we associating it with being able to be and communicate with people? You may tell me: “Patricia! We are social beings. Of course it applies to being among people and interacting with them!” I get it, I may be splitting hairs here, but it feels really important to me, which is why I wanted to write this post in the first place. So here we are.

It starts in school. If you don’t want to talk to anyone first thing when you arrive, you’re labelled rude and “not a morning person.” Usually, it also comes with being a “night owl;” someone who will stay up late, often until after midnight. Being forced to get up early for some capitalist obligation, these people are also called grumpy because they turn up fucking TIRED. 

Night owl = evening person?

Sooo… does being a night owl mean you’re an evening person then? It might, but doesn’t have to. There are many reasons why someone may stay up late. Including neurodivergent reasons. Yes and no then. Super helpful, I’m aware.

For me, a certified night owl, it does mean that I have a lot of energy in the evening and often at night, too. My peak time is usually in the late afternoon, though. Go figure. The problem with this is that capitalism doesn’t work that way. Sure, there are jobs that require you to operate in shifts and you may be lucky and always get the ones suited to your rhythm. I used to do the night shift in video game localisation and it was fucking fantastic. Being paid extra because it was at night? Even better. Also doing a day job because living in London is ridiculously expensive? Do not recommend. On top of that, “real life” is still happening during business hours, so you cannot afford to sleep during the day and be awake at night because you can never get hold of anyone to tackle your life admin. Classic win-lose situation, I guess.

Do evening people hate mornings then?

This is where it gets interesting and why I am fed up of being labelled “not a morning person.” Because if I can do whatever the fuck I want in the morning, I really, REALLY love mornings. I find them magical. To the point I get up earlier to have more of them even though I may have stayed up late. 

As long as I don’t have to speak to people (unless I CHOOSE to!), I am fine with mornings. Having worked from home – and being unable to work for the majority of it – for the past few years now, mornings have become a very important part of my days. Potentially my favourite part. Going at my own pace, not having any obligations, being able to listen to my body and its needs; these things set me up for success. Being supported by medication, herbal remedies and delivery services for food shops mean I get to start the working day with a full cup. In my opinion, this is the way it should be. Everyone should be able to start their working day at a time that they feel ready, nourished and prepared. This way, the working days get shorter, too. You just get more done in less time. 

This is why capitalism sucks

Capitalism wants you to be physically present in offices – and most other workplaces, for only some of which it actually makes sense – during particular hours. In winter, this means we don’t even get to see the sun. You leave the house in the dark in the morning and come back in the dark in the evening. Serving as staff for the billionaires at the top. Not making enough money to pay for the things that should be free: shelter, food, heating, electricity, water, clothes, the internet. Beyond that, I also think healthcare – including any and all medication – should be free. So you know where I stand. 

I have played this game for over a decade until I fully burnt out in 2019. There was nothing left of me and my health gradually declined until I was completely “housebound.” I hate the wording, but this is what it has felt like. I am still recovering from that, so don’t let anybody tell you that your burnout recovery is taking too long. Especially if it is combined with neurodivergent burnout because that can happen again and again from just daily living activities in a world that wasn’t built for us. 

The privilege of it all

So, in most ways, my way of life is a privilege in “Western” societies. When taken to the extreme, people like me are called scroungers. Disabled people really have no value in capitalism. Still, it IS a privilege to be able to have the mornings I want and that support me best. So if this is not possible for you, please don’t think you have personally failed. It is the system – operating as it was designed – failing us every single day.

What DOES it all mean then?

Well, here’s the deal: The classic definition of a morning person doesn’t reasonate with me because it really just perpetuates violence under the oppressive systems we are all part of. Because since I can have supportive mornings, instead of rushing to wash myself and have a bite of breakfast and a coffee before I leave the house, I am in LOVE with mornings. And yes, I consider myself a morning person.

A person who loves their mornings because of what they do for me. How they shape my reality and how they provide a solid foundation for my days, consistently. It took me a LONG time to get here. Partly because of internalised ableism, which is still a thing in my brain. And partly because for the longest time I couldn’t do all the things I want and need to do to start the day.

My AuDHD brain thrives on a solid structure, but call it rituals, not routines. Because I also need novelty and to make it interesting. Sometimes I need to switch it up a little bit, but not too much. It’s a fine line, but I have managed to find a way to not only tolerate mornings, but adore them.

What about you? Are you a morning person? What are your thoughts on the topic? I would love to talk to you about it, so comment away!

Stay magnificent. Stay witchy. 

Your Witch Mother