You know those things that look like a waffle maker but have sandwich shapes inside them? Where you put ham (or other stuff) and cheese on toast and then press it into oblivion until the cheese has a heavenly melt? Yeah, I’ve just bought one of those.

It’s my offline week, you see. Offline from social media and my phone. I allow myself to be online for writing and for listening to music. I do this regularly but this time it feels super intentional. I NEED healing and I need time and space to be with myself rather than just by myself.

Finding joy

The other day when I was at my local Asda, I saw a sandwich maker on the shelves for £9. Quite affordable, but I felt like it would have been an impulse purchase, so I left without it. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I was fantasising about what kind of sandwiches I would make and how they would taste and feel in my mouth. It was intense.

So today I checked online if that was indeed the most affordable one I could get. After checking several sites, I came back to Asda and it was reduced to £7! Off into my car I jumped. And lo and behold, there was only one left on the shelf! A sign if I’ve ever seen one. Chuffed with myself, I took it home.

On my way back, I went to Tesco (I swear none of this is sponsored by anyone!) and got the goods: Toast, Aufschnitt (the English call this “cold meats”, which couldn’t be further from the truth…) and CHEESE. Barely through the door, I unpacked the sandwich maker and prepared two sandwiches. The joy I was feeling already just in anticipation!

Oh, but that was nothing. Nothing compared to the joy I would feel biting into that first sandwich (you know, the bite straight after the one that burnt my tongue). Pure joy. Nothing else. Well, there was also comfort and warmth. It felt a bit like coming home.

Nostalgia galore

I remember when we got a sandwich maker in my childhood home. I must have been 12, or even 14, and it was all the rage. We would try different combinations, basically creating mini calzone pizzas. It was something I enjoyed with my mum. We had a blast.

That feeling came back biting into the sandwich. Tasting the perfectly melted cheese and all the different flavours coming through. I squeaked. A bit like a guinea pig. I haven’t been so joyful and so nostalgic over some food in a long arse time. It was the best thing ever. Highly recommend.

Mindful eating

Now, you know there won’t be any diet culture bullshit here. And I don’t condone the “mindful eating” bullshit that says you should be mindful of how much and what you eat because cALoRiEs. No, no, that is not what I am talking about.

What I’m talking about is being with the process of eating. At least for a bite or two. I usually watch something on Netflix or on TikTok, YouTube, IG Stories whilst having my meals. Without those distractions, all I could focus on was the food and eating it. That or I would get grease stains on a book. So I focused; I was mindful. And I tasted every last bit of those two sandwiches. It was a pure delight. I’ll be doing this more often.

Wanna try? Prepare your favourite food and savour the first few bites. Or all of them. Rinse and repeat for other food. Bonus tip: Do this with something you’re used to eating but don’t really taste in the moment because you’re distracting yourself (or you’re just eating it to not be hungry, I’ve been there, I get it). See if you actually like it. My tastebuds are changing for different reasons, but gosh am I learning to taste and know what I like now. Many things no longer work for me. And I get to try others that I absolutely devour! What a wild ride intuitive eating has been for me. I feel excited about what may come next!

Your turn

In the comments, tell me what else you’d like to read about on this blog. As I’m getting started, I have quite a few ideas and will publish them all. But I also really want you to get involved and answer questions or research topics that are hot for you right now. Anything fatphobia, weight stigma, diet culture, body image and related topics go.